Butterflies

I was in such a deep sleep, I got a fright when the alarm went off! Have found it really difficult to wake up as well, like I've been punched in the eyes! Then I remembered about tomorrow and the little butterflies started zooming around in my stomach.
The sunshine streams in through the window today, there is a trace of blue sky under the cotton wool clouds, so all is well in London, I don't think the rain has quite left, but it's holding out.
We had some really cool badges made for the festival and this week , on top of getting all the music ready for the set, Gerald has been designing flyers . He has also designed a Sonic Spells T-shirt, so soon you will be able to order your very own. Isn't that fab?
I must be on my way because I've just found out that there are problems on the Underground, apparently someone is under a train again, what a way to go! Will let you all know how it goes tomorrow of course!

Blonder Ambition

Woke up today, full of excitement. I think everyone should make it their rule that they should always have something to look forward to. I was at the hairdresser's yesterday and emerged even blonder than I was before. I've spent a fortune in that place over the last few months. When I was a small child, my hair was so blond that it was nearly white. As I reached adolescence, I cried my eyes out because my hair just got darker and darker, a kind of dirty blond, which is all very well when you live in the sunshine, but when you don't it goes all mousy! So over the years I have experimented with highlights and colours. The most extreme thing I ever did was dye my hair jet black. My grandmother nearly had a heart attack when she saw me, she clutched her chest and wailed. Even after her death, she was still carrying on about it- I went to see a medium and the first thing she said to me was that she had an old lady with her asking why I had done such a thing! When I was studying meditation, of course all this vanity was frowned upon and we were encouraged to grow our hair long and shapeless and scraped back off our faces. I got so fed up that I chopped all my hair off and then tried to disguise the fact that I hadn't, impossible really, my pony tail had been reduced to a stump and although no-one said anything I could tell that they all thought I had fallen prey to body consciousness, ha ha, if they could see me now!

Arbitrary thoughts

Guess what, the sun is actually shining. With a lot of the UK flooded now, I'm considering buying a boat to go swanning around on. Shouldn't joke really as people have lost their lives and their homes to the muddy water. It's actually really chilly as well! Windows closed !
After the festival we are going to go away for a short break to Wales, because I've never been there and it will be great to just get away from it all. Plus I was reading up about the place we are going to and it just sounds so magical.
Had our rehearsal yesterday, I'm not sure how I feel anymore, I'm trying not to think about it too much or else the excitement will kill me, but today I need to go trawling around the shops again for some accessories.
My Mum returned to Zimbabwe from her holiday, she said our little dog was over the moon to see her. Since she's been away prices of basic commodities have trebled, can you imagine that happening here, people would just not stand for it. I still think it's disgusting that the West still does nothing to help Zimbabwe, why doesn't anyone care?

It's still raining!

I had to have a look at this photograph because I've forgotten what the sunshine is like!
Not to mention the wonderful memories. The sea was so tranquil , the air so warm and lazy, the wind gently ruffled our hair as we drove down into the bay. I wanted to walk out onto the jetty and dive into the crystal waters, but we carried on up the silver road that snaked around the island,being chased by the shadow of a thundercloud. I can still smell the rich, fertile earth, and it was so humid that you could almost smell the greenness in the leaves of the trees. Guess where it is?
It's good to know there's always a little place of paradise we can escape to, even if it's only for a few precious moments in our minds.

Excitement builds

Did anyone see Glastonbury on the news? I had to chuckle as it looked like a giant paddling pool full of mud. Shows how much people love music though, to pay £145 and then have to wallow like a hippo in the rain all weekend. I guess it's traditional though and keeping in line with the stiff English upper lip and all. Determined to enjoy yourself no matter what the weather! I hope that people have the same attitude by the time the Ambient Picnic comes. The weather has got to be better by then, I mean how much rain can you get?
So countdown is progressing and we are only a week away from doing our promo for a music shop. If you by any chance live near Chingford in London, you can see us perform next Saturday at around 12pm at Turntable Records, Station Rd, Chingford E4!
As it draws closer to the festival as well, I feel really excited about playing, I can't think of much else really. Sometimes it almost feels like it's not real, like I am watching a giant movie. Every journey begins with a small step, I can't remember who said that, but thanks anyway.

Walking in the forest

The rain has ceased for the time being, replaced by a blustery wind, but at least it's warm. I was reading an article about the druids, because of course the summer solstice has just passed, and it was very interesting indeed. I would love to go to Stonehenge and watch the sunrise and celebrate. I was particularly intrigued by a photograph of this man in the forest, he was wearing a little cap with horns attached and brandishing some sort of large pitchfork, he looked like he was having the time of his life!
Sometimes when we go walking in the forest , there is a kind of magical atmosphere in the air. I love to wander amongst the ancient trees with their gnarled faces, and somehow I always get the feeling that we are not alone, that the nature spirits are watching over us. I love the sounds of the birds as they talk to each other, the way that the wind rustles the leaves and the patterns that the sun makes as it filters through all the foliage. As you go deeper into the forest, the outside world seems to disappear altogether, there is only peace and tranquility. I always come away wanting to spend longer in there.

The true fashion victims

Hi everyone, I think I have my outfit for the show, just about. I took the day off yesterday and headed into London to do some serious looking. A friend of mine had suggested I go to a certain shop in Kensington, turns out the shop was no good to me , but there were others in the area where I found most of the things that I needed. I am relieved that it all came together quickly, there would have been nothing worse than having nothing at the last minute. The effort to look good is turning into an expensive business!
Saw another horrific report on the immense cruelty suffered by dogs and cats in China as they are brutally bred and slaughtered for the fur trade. Apparently the EU has now banned the import of fur from China, but apparently even fake fur has dog and cat hair in it and it is very difficult and expensive to test the fur. Topshop is one of the few that does actually do tests. I can't say anything that I haven't already said in my blogs before, but it was very sad to see such barbaric footage, especially of a dog trustingly wagging his tail before a cruel and painful death and a cat that was so terrified it had it's paws round the neck of another cat, frozen with fear. Something very wrong somewhere.

Country Roads

Up early to the sound of rain again. The summer solstice has been and there hasn't been any summery weather at all. I took Gerald down to the chiropractor to have his neck clicked into place, it only takes a couple of minutes, it's quite amazing how they manipulate you. Maybe I should try it for my headaches.
We are heading off to rehearse this afternoon, not many more to go now, as the festival looms ever closer, I wonder if it's ever going to stop raining. I saw footage on the news of Yorkshire under water and it reminded me of when we were there, we stayed near a reservoir which burst it's banks and every day the water seemed to come closer and closer, threatening to flood the road and leave us stranded. Living in London, you don't really get the extreme weather of the countryside and as for the roads, well that's another story. I can't tell you how many times I've been petrified by the roads in the country. Once, we got lost in the Peak District and ended up on this really narrow farm road, it wasn't much wider than my car. All of a sudden there was such a steep, high turn and I panicked and stalled my car on the steepest part of the gradient. I had grand visions of the car just rolling back uncontrollably. I saw how terrified Gerald looked and Nyo was shrieking in the back and I panicked even more and just put my foot down. Of course there was the screeching of tyres and burning rubber, the smell of which seemed to stay in my car for the entire break. I suppose if you live there though, you just get used to it. When we went to Cornwall, I refused to drive my car once we were there because I was just so freaked out by the roads when we first arrived. So we walked everywhere and even ended up getting a couple of cabs. When we were leaving I did wonder what I'd made such a fuss about because it didn't seem quite so treacherous after all. My perception had been totally different when I was tired. First impressions aren't always right, and I let fear rule my head, how silly!

Viva!

I was born in a small town called Mutare which lies on the Zimbabwe/ Mozambique border. From there it is not a long drive down to the coast, in fact many people used to drive down to the port of Beira to spend the day by the sea and have some famous piri-piri chicken. Of course when I was growing up, Mozambique had been ravaged by a civil war and the Portuguese had long gone, however in recent years there has been a lot of investment there and the country is slowly being rebuilt. A lot of Zimbabwean farmers went there when they got chucked off their farms by Mugabe, and it was my fortune to actually go there to visit a young couple that were rebuilding their lives from scratch, in a little place called Villamoura. It seems really strange in Mozambique because the African people don't speak English at all, they speak Portuguese. Anyway, driving down to the coast we had to cross over this big river that separates the provinces, and when we got to the bridge we were extremely nervous as it was blockaded by heavily armed military personnel, who didn't look too amused to see us and you feel a bit vulnerable when you are sitting in a car with several machine guns trained on you. One guy came over to check our papers and passports, he had the coldest, meanest eyes I'd ever seen and I wasn't too comfortable about having a British passport then, I can tell you! There was some deliberation going on in Portuguese and every second that passed seemed like eternity, I was beginning to wonder if they were going to let us through. All of a sudden my friend called out to them "Viva Roberto!" (meaning Mugabe), and "Viva Samora!" (an old Mozambican President) ."Viva Roberto, Viva Samora!", and he waved his hand in the air in a victory salute of the old freedom fighters. I thought that we were definitely history now, but all these hard, mean army guys started laughing their heads off, their faces broke out into the most beautiful grins and all of a sudden they just let us through, no problem, waving and laughing at us as we in turn drove over the bridge still shouting "Viva" and doing the victory salute. It was quite a bizarre experience really, but in a way it was so typical of Africa.

Run White girl, run

My poor muscles are stiff today, all this leaping around. I went on a successful jaunt yesterday to Spitalfields Market, I was looking for something to wear at the festival and it is slowly coming together now, unfortunately I can't say anything else about it, no clues. I was really impressed with how that whole area has been regenerated and there are so many lovely places to eat, as I was walking around all I could smell was delicious food and I wished that Gerald had been with me, we could have sat and had some lunch.
Yesterday evening I was minding my own business and jogging peacefully around the park. Sometimes it's difficult being a woman because you are always a bit wary of leery gangs of youths, you feel a bit vulnerable and exposed. Normally the only thing that happens is that they shout stupid comments at you, but last night these Asian guys threw something at my back as I was running past, trying to give me a fright, and then they shouted "Run white girl, run". Stupid fools , to be such cowards that they have to pick on girls and then so spineless as to throw whatever it was at my back. I'm sure they think they're really hard and tough when they're walking around in their ridiculous little gang, smoking puff and thinking they're really cool. What I need is an enormous dog to gallop around with me and keep all the morons at bay.

Questions

Took Gerald to be examined by a chiropractor today, he will go back tomorrow for his diagnosis. Then I phoned my Mum who is on holiday in Cape Town and although she is enjoying herself, she is worried sick about her animals. Now I can see where I learn some of my behaviour from and it has been really hard to break out of some ways of thinking because they were so natural to me. We do pick up a lot of things from our parents. People should consider these things before they have children. Fortunately, my Mum has taught me many good things as well, that far outweigh the little negatives. My Dad was a dreamer so that's where I got that from!
Today I sang the whole gig whist running on the spot and jumping around in the living room, boy was it hard, some songs I could barely manage. It was a good exercise and it will build up my strength even more when I do it everyday. A few of months ago we were having a heated discussion and I asked the question "How am I going to become a better singer?" My question has definitely been answered, I have been shown. That's the wonderful thing about the universe, it will always answer your question, so take care in what you ask for!

A Tale from Northumbria

This was on a beach in Northumbria, we stayed near Berwick-on-Tweed, which is right on the border with Scotland. We had a little cottage which ran along the banks of the River Tweed and there was even a little bridge which used to cross over the river into Scotland.
The beaches in Northumbria are magnificent, so wild and desolate and imposing. I'll never forget the howling wind as it lashed our faces and the sea was powerful and foreboding, it had such a powerful and captivating energy, I loved being there.We were lost when we took this photograph, it was raining and the mist was rolling in from the sea, plus it was drawing towards the evening. In the end we got so disorientated, I was close to tears and the mist was thick and cold. Eventually we made out some telephone wires and Gerald insisted that we ignore the map and follow the wires, and he was right because soon we came to a road and a railway crossing, very close to where we'd parked the car. It was heaven to get back to our cosy cottage and sit in front of the lovely fire!

My favourite painting

I think a good painting is one that captures your imagination and makes you feel as if you are part of it in some way. I managed to salvage a family heirloom last time I went home. It was the first painting my mum ever bought and when I had to take it out the frame so that it would fit in my suitcase, the price was written on the back- 2 guineas !! Is she that old? By the way she was very disapproving about me taking it, in case it got damaged I suppose.
The picture is an African scene of course. The main feature is a set of huge balancing rocks. Almost prehistoric, they tower above a lonely acacia tree and a dusty road leads around the corner of the rocks into the distance. I think it is winter time because the sky is a radiant blue, without a cloud in sight and the bush is dry and brown, apart from a small outbreak of foliage. Walking in front of the rocks is an African lady, laden with a heavy bag on her head and a baby on her back, and following her is a small child carrying a water pot on her head. I often just sit and look at this picture and wonder how far they have walked and where they are going to, is the little girl tired , where does the road lead to , what is behind the rocks? I suppose paintings are a bit like songs, they have a different meaning for everyone. Maybe this one just conjures up associations with my childhood and maybe that is why I am so drawn to it. Whatever it is, the artist did his job well.

Decide

I wish my headache would go away, I've had it as long as Gerald has had his neck problem. Being in pain makes me extremely grouchy at times, still nothing stops us, I was up early this morning, jogging and when I came back home, we went through the set before going our respective ways. At least we are committed to what we are doing, it's important to be confident about putting on a good show. I like to be disciplined and focused, so this preparation has been good for me mentally, it's helped me define my goals and values. I've realised that without these success is impossible.
It's like when I wanted to buy a car, I spent ages looking because I didn't know exactly what I wanted. As soon as I decided, it all just fell into place and I had wheels very shortly afterwards. This is pretty obvious stuff and people have been banging on at me for years telling me exactly the same things. They used to ask me what it was I really, really wanted out of life. I could never tell them because I just didn't have a clue. I do know now though, better late than never.
Sometimes my brain works really slowly though, some people are really quick and witty in conversation, but I always find myself thinking of things I should have said about half an hour afterwards. That's not as bad as someone talking away to you and you suddenly realise you haven't been listening to a word they've said. Or even worse, being in the middle of a sentence yourself and actually forgetting what you're talking about, so embarrassing.
Anyway enough of this idle chatter, hope you are all having a fab weekend.

Stars at night

I feel homesick for Africa today. What do I miss? The stars in the vast sky at night. It is like looking into a giant kaleidoscope. You can see all sorts of constellations with the naked eye, and shooting stars zoom across the heavens in abundance. In our last house, I had a favourite spot where I would sneak off to every evening, never alone, for Puppy and the cat would always accompany me. It was at the back of the house by the mango tree, next to the gardener's rooms. I used to love sitting there because the huge papaya trees were silhouetted against the moon and there were always so many stars that the sky really did turn a midnight blue. I would just gaze up there for ages, wondering what it would be like to be a traveller in space or if there were other beings out there. Infinity. I would stroke Puppy's fur and let him go to sleep on my lap. Sometimes a lonely plane would echo overhead, far away, bound for a distant destination. I would always hear my Mother clanking pots around in the kitchen and the ever present song of the crickets and other insects of the night. The shadows of the trees used to dance in the moonlight and sometimes my imagination would play games with me and I would think something was there. Then I would run back inside to the comfort of my Mum and the telly!

The likable rogue

Still my poor love is in agony, if I could take the pain away from him, I would in an instant, what a horrible thing to happen. To think this time last week we were giggling and joking because I had to help him get out of bed, I really thought the pain would go away by now. It seems to be a very common problem though, one person I know just sat up quickly in bed one day and pulled a muscle and she couldn't move for two weeks.
Our gig is looming ever closer now, I feel more excited than anything, the only thing I need to prepare now is what I'm going to wear and to be honest, I'm a bit stuck for ideas, I'm sure I will think of something, I need a day off to go trawling round the shops.
My Mum is going off to Cape Town and leaving her gardener to look after the house. He is as ancient as the trees and his antics have amused me for years, I don't know how my Mum puts up with him, I think she feels sorry for him. He lives on the property, doesn't do a stroke of work and she still pays him. He is a rogue because he even goes and works for another lady down the road, and every weekend he goes off and gets blinding drunk and comes back and pesters my Mum for even more money. I suppose he can be quite endearing though, when the bombs went off in London he was working on the other side of town at the time and he walked all the way to my Mum's house to find out if we were OK. A likable rogue, that's what he is. It's a good job the neighbours are going to keep an eye on everything.

Floods in the desert

Gerald is still writhing around in agony, I've never known anyone to have pain like it, now he is going to see an osteopath, but he has to wait until next week. What a terrible thing to happen and I know how frustrating it is when you have a lot to do. He says it is worse than toothache, so it must be bad.
For years I've been making little clicking noises with my tongue when I talk to Nyo and she has got into the habit of imitating us, it is so funny because we don't know who is making the noise anymore. Yesterday I had a "conversation" with her for ages, it is so funny when she answers back, I don't know if she'll ever say any words though.
So the G8 summit is focusing on climate change, I still say it's too little too late. A resident of Dubai told me yesterday that it has been raining so much there that they are almost wading through water, something unheard of in a Gulf state, you're normally lucky if you see a shower of rain in a year. What's next, snow in the Sahara? A heatwave in Alaska? These are interesting times as the doomsday prophecies unfold before our eyes, the more violent and destructive humans are, the more mother nature retaliates. Perhaps the earth will be wiped out and all the animals will return to rule the world like the dinosaurs.

Pain and thugs

We're both fed up of pain, would you believe we are both still suffering with our repsective complaints, Gerald still has the shoulders from hell and I still have the remains of a migraine. I did try a natural remedy which is very good for headaches and it did bring me some relief, a very kind Indian lady taught me this a few years ago. Take some fresh lemongrass and cut a little bit off the end of the stalk,( not the thick end), then just make a cup of black tea and brew it with the lemongrass. Add sugar to taste and sip slowly, you will be surprised at how quickly it works.
Yesterday I was doing a headstand and whilst upside down I noticed something strange underneath the sofa and it was all torn, the silly fools who delivered it must have damaged it when they moved it in, nice of them to say something , little did they know I would discover it in such a fashion. Now I have to wait in this afternoon for someone to come and repair it. Imagine being so dishonest as not to say anything, it makes me mad.
Then, in the supermarket, I saw an old man being bullied by an angry youth of about 19, what a thug, he even hit the old man on the back of the head. I yelled for someone to call security, but it was too late, the thug ran off. What a disgusting way to behave, I felt sick inside. The only consolation is that the thug will get what's coming to him one day.

Gerald's Neck

Hi everyone, I certainly seem to be getting some healing practice as Gerald has a frozen muscle in his neck, it is like having permanent cramp and he is in so much agony that he can't sleep or even sit down for any length of time. I woke up with a migraine as well , but we still soldiered on to go to rehearsals, what a day.
This whole business with the neck has been culminating over a period of about five years, it was the cause of us getting together in the first place. I had recently completed a diploma in Indian head massage and was keen to acquire some clients, so one day I was down the studio and Gerald was complaining about the very same pain and so I offered to try and sort it out for him. Over the course of treatments his neck did improve and we started to become closer. He later told me that the sound of one of the chopping movements used to remind him of two bodies banging together, I just used to like going round there as I enjoyed his company, I always felt that somewhere along the line we connected on a deeper level. Of course we had known each other for several years before these encounters, but I guess the time was never right for us to be together before. Destiny decided but made us wait until we were both ready.

Strange experience

Had a really interesting discussion with a friend of mine about the paranormal and past lives. I really want to try regression, I am very interested to know a bit more about who I might have been before this life.
When I was a teenager my best friend and I came across this guy who said he was a photographer. We met up with him for a few drinks and afterwards we were driving around the sleepy streets of Bulawayo trying to think of something to do. We decided to go to this picnic area at a small dam in the suburbs. In later years I was to learn that a lot of lay lines converge at that particular point and rumour had it that people used to meet there to practice black magic.
Anyway, we parked the car and were sitting there chatting, watching the moon over the water. All of a sudden, this photographer guy asked my friend to close his eyes and tell us what he was seeing. My friend started to describe a silver medallion , he said it was from the times of the Ancient Greeks and he really went into great detail about it. All of a sudden Mr Photographer opened the glove compartment and pulled out this very same medallion that my friend was describing, what a freak out! He then proceeded to tell us that he knew both me and my friend from a previous life and that I in particular had done him a great disservice. I can't remember what happened after that. I remember saying I wanted to go, but I can't remember how I got home or anything. It was such a weird experience. We never saw that guy again either, strangers are always noticed in a small town, so it seems he just passed through to give me that message! I've always been curious to find out what it was I supposedly did to him.

Smells of summer

What did we ever do without mobile phones, have they become an extension of our limbs? I forgot mine at home yesterday and I almost felt as if a part of me had been left behind, it's strange how we have become dependent on all these gadgets. Can't believe it's June already either. I bought some flowers the other day and their fragrance is like a summer garden, it's lovely to walk into the living room and have your senses assailed by such a lovely aroma. The smell of freshly mown grass always reminds me of summer as well.
I finally got my letter. which wasn't a letter it was a credit card, I'm trying to get out of debt not into it. After waiting in the whole damn day for it to arrive, by 18.00 it still wasn't here and I had a bet with Gerald that as soon as I got into the bath, the guy would be ringing at the door. Sure enough, that's exactly what happened and I had to go running down the stairs swathed in towels.
Gerald mentioned something today that apparently the police have the authority to stop and search people at concerts and festivals now, I presume they will be searching for illegal substances and not bombs. Well , I think that's outrageous that you can't even go somewhere and enjoy yourself anymore without the cops lurking around like your parents, this really is becoming too much now. Go and catch some real crims!