Thursday

I have been like the proverbial bear with a sore head and not only was I horrible to Gerald, I shouted at Nyo too because she was making a noise. I went to bed very grumpy and then woke up in the middle of the night and asked myself why I was feeling like that, it's so pointless. Sometimes it seems as if I have forgotten everything I ever learnt about myself, it proves that we are our own worst enemies at times. It's very easy to say that in retrospect. Have you ever experienced a moment of true peace,where you felt so contented that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else and everything felt right? That happened to me once, we were out in the bush and had climbed to the top of some very high rocks, we lay down flat on our backs to enjoy the sunshine, and the leaves of the trees were silhouetted against the sky. I remember looking at the colours of the leaves and feeling the warm air of the breeze tease my skin, the only sounds were the birds and insects singing. For several moments everything just felt so perfect, I wanted to stay there forever, I felt at one with my creator. That experience has stayed with me for a number of years, I wasn't seeking anything on that day, it just happened, it was as if someone had opened up a door and let me look inside, to show me what it could be like. I should try and remember moments like that when I am feeling stressed !